Pubs within a 15-minute stagger of my flat #1: Mason's Arms

Mason's Arms

Website: http://www.masonsarmsyork.co.uk/

Walking time: 8 minutes 4 seconds

Real ale: Yes

Food: Yes

In two words: Pig out

Welcome to the first instalment of a new series here at Once Upon a Time in York where I'll be telling you about watering holes near my flat. Fifteen minutes is an arbitrary figure (who wouldn't walk fifteen minutes to the pub, even in bad weather?). If a place I want to visit is a bit further than that, I'll review it anyway. The walking time is how long it takes me to walk from the door of my flat to the door of the pub. This can of course vary according to the time of day, the day of the week, the time of year, the number of road crossings, the number of hen parties I have to bash my way through, etc.

Mason's Arms is located between the Foss and the city wall on Fishergate. It's on my way to the grocery store. But then there are probably a dozen pubs between me and the grocery store, making it easy enough for me to fortify myself for a mission to the supermarket.

This was my third visit to Mason's Arms. The first was when Geoboy and I were flat-hunting and we stayed at the nearby Blue Bridge Inn. We walked in on a congenial pub quiz that night.

You can, perhaps, judge a pub by its pub quiz. This was a pleasant one, a small crowd who seemed familiar with each other, with a congenial host, plenty of self-deprecation and laughs, and no cheaters on their smartphones (god! how I hate the douchebags who cheat at pub quizzes. Too bad there are no more gibbets left in York).

The second time I came here was with Paul on a Saturday for a pub lunch. The portions are ridiculously large. So large in fact that I probably won't eat there again. Geoboy had the fish and chips, the sight of which prompted him to remark, "Oh, I seem to have ordered the whale". I got a wedge of broccoli and Stilton pie. That came with gravy. And chips. and three piles of vegetables over-cooked in the finest British tradition. It was enough food for two or three people.

There was a family group with three small children in the pub that day. The kids weren't complete monsters, but still, when you're trying to work your way through a kilo of Maris Pipers and enjoy a pint on a Saturday afternoon, the screeching and gymnastics that the Very Young inevitably perform wherever they find themselves does not exactly fill me with unbounded joy.

Geoboy and I were still lingering over the papers and our partially eaten meals when the family left. "Goodbye, pig", said a child behind me.

I should explain that Mason's Arms has a pig motif: pig statuettes, pig paintings, pig gravy boats, pig wind chimes... They're everywhere. So the sprog was not talking to me but rather a shiny brass pig sitting in front of the fireplace that he had grown fond of in their brief time together.

There were a few people around on the Wednesday afternoon I visited. Mason's Arms has its regulars but I imagine it also sees its share of tourist traffic, it being very close to a large car park, a Travelodge and other hotels, and Clifford's Tower and the York Castle museum. And it does, on occasion, get in a dark-haired Yankee who stops for a pint and a scribble on her way to the grocery store.